2015 is my year. You know when you can just tell? I can tell. Contrary to popular opinion that I peaked aged 21, I’m actually set to bloom this year (though not too much in the bum, bust and hip zones. I have blossomed quite enough there thanks).
My horoscope seems to think so too, wouldntchaknow. We all know that shit’s real, and because I was born three weeks late and crossed the cut-off between two signs, I get to read both Leo and Virgo and decide which one seems to make the most sense for my, y’know, aura, state of mind and financial situation at the time etc. This year I’m a Virgo, favouring the deliciously-titled Dark Pixie’s yearly trajectory, which predicts that ‘Uranus remains in your intimacy sector’. Too right it does, Pixie. Very perceptive. And don’t worry, I won’t let you down.
With that astute observation out the way, I’m now willing to buy pretty much anything the stars are rumoured to have in store, particularly the notion that come July I will be incredibly rich. Until then, however, I’m going to have to rely on the freebies that have been tiding me over of late.
Because if there’s one thing journalists love, it’s free stuff. So far in my illustrious career I have written a number of hard-hitting features, including (and very nearly limited to) the history of soup, why you might want to live in Lambeth (I don’t think you do, by the way) and an interview with the almost-certainly-made-up ghosts of the Royal Shakespeare Company in Stratford. I didn’t get any free stuff for those, but my fortunes began to change when I started writing my v serious-sounding ‘listicles’, best-loved titles of which include ‘10 of the best corkscrews’, ‘10 of the best mixing bowls’ and ‘10 of the best kitchen scales’ (spot the trend).
Suddenly I was swamped, because in order to test all these products I had to be sent samples, and once I’d used them, I couldn’t send them back. At first, I thought this was the funnest thing LIKE EVER. Until I realised that nobody in the world needs fifteen pairs of oven gloves. And since I’m a half-price screwtop kinda chick I’m never in need of a corkscrew, let alone a dozen.
But don’t for a second think I’m complaining. Nothing could be further from the truth. I’m also almost 100% certain my family isn’t either, as a great number of members got some totally rad Christmas presents this year. Part of the reason I’m so chuffed is that off the back of these lists, a company found this blog and sent me some food to review, and that actually was the funnest thing ever.
The company is called Flavrbox. Every month hand-picked samples from award-winning food suppliers are sent to your door, for £25 a pop (I know. Am I a press release or wot). Admittedly, it’s quite a niche service buy if you’re into discovering brands and trying out new things it would be the dream. However, if you’re like me and your bank balance invariably feels a little anaemic, it may seem like an expenditure too far. Having said that, after gobbling my goodies like the Christmas goose I am, I truly do wish I had an extra couple of quid knocking around. I’m not just saying that so they send me more free stuff. I really do.
Because inside my box were such delights as almond and sour cherry marshmallows, earl grey and orange chocolate, the most deliciously tingly and surprising choco-mint tea (Sounds weird. Is weird. Tastes weirdly good), some delightfully crispy chilli snacks and a packet of Danish oak-smoked sea salt, of which I have just ordered more.
These are the things you wish you knew about. Flavrbox is the antidote to the mind-fog that descends when faced with the same big-bucks brands than line the endless shelves of the Supermarkets of Death. It’s clever stuff and it makes you want more. I realise that’s their intention, but kudos – it works.
So I’m waiting for the Dark Pixie’s golden prophecy to be fulfilled in order to get me some of this goodness every month.* Until then, drop me a line if you want a kitchen utensil. I got loads.
*Only joking dad! I’m going to be working really hard and applying for 100000s of jobs!!!!!!!!