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Domestic Goddess or wot

I did the ironing today. The bloody ironing. WTF. Who has enough time aged 22 to do the ironing?

Oh shit! That would be me.

I am on “holiday”. I’m not unemployed, I swear; I’m quite clearly freelance, yeah. And I’m so painfully free that I’m scared that if I leave my flat I’ll get tingly fingers and before you know it – whoops! Sorry Sir Bank Manager – I’ve just spent all my pennies on some more gym kit that will definitely make me look like Miranda Kerr in about two weeks.

Instilled with “the fear”, I sit at home and watch Game of Thrones way too much for a normal person and manically iron things. I have turned into my own worst nightmare; I don’t get dressed, I try to rap along to Lil Wayne (amazingly, I’m not very good at this. Why???? Any pointers welcome), I’m starting to dangerously quite like Ke$ha’s new song, and I think going to the Post Office is an event that needs scheduling into my timetable. None of these things are in any way acceptable.

(Except Thrones. Dwarves? Dragons? Sex? It’s like Fort Boyard on crack!!! This is so acceptable.)

Luckily – there is a silver lining to all of this, however slight. With nothing better to do than fake tan and attempt to do Pilates in my sitting room (inadvisable), I spend an inordinate amount of time searching for solace in the bottom of a saucepan. While this is not helping the Miranda Kerr vibe, it is making for some delicious experiments. One of which was this soda bread below, which – I ain’t kidding ya – could not be easier. It’s just flour, baking soda and yogurt. It is best eaten straight from the oven smothered in marmalade with a cuppa in the sunshine. If you haven’t got a job this is surprisingly easy. And if you do (suckers – no Thrones for you), just make sure you got yo’self some tasty wifey like me who’ll do your ironing and bake your bread. Or just put it in the toaster. 

Irish Soda Bread

Makes one loaf

  • 500g flour (I like wholemeal coz I’m a sucker for health food bullshit, but white is fine)
  • 2 tsp bicarbonate of soda
  • 1 tsp salt
  • about 400g of Greek or live yogurt (fat free is completely fine for anyone on the Miranda train)
  • (a little milk, if necessary)
  1. Preheat fan oven to 200° C. Sift flour and bicarb into a large bowl and add the salt. Make a large well in the centre and add the yogurt. Mix well with your hands to bring it together (you may need to add a little milk to loosen it). It will be very sticky.
  2. Tip out on to a floured surface and knead for no longer than a minute, as it needs to be in the oven while the bicarb is still working. You want it to be in the shape of a loose ball.
  3. Put the dough on a lightly floured baking tray and dust the dough with more flour. Get a knife and score a large cross across the top.
  4. Bake for 40-45 minutes, or until the base sounds hollow. Cool on a wire rack if you like a crunchy crust, or wrap in a clean tea towel if you prefer it softer.
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